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This Gorgeous Androgynous Male Model Embraces Both Genders. Androgyny is the new is hard to take your eyes off of year-old model Roan Louch. From his long brown tresses to his unique. “I’m an extremely effeminate (not to the point of transgenderism) homosexual man,” the letter begins, “and I was wondering: What are your thoughts on males who behave like females (wearing makeup. And honestly like most men, gay men struggle with accepting their own femininity or feminine traits in other gay men.

Not to say the gay men are inherently feminine; only that we often see a desire for masculinity pushed to the front. Femme men don’t have an easy time at life, even within the gay community. They often face misogyny, shaming and sometimes even violence for proudly and unapologetically challenging machismo and heteronormativity. By age 11, I learned to hate everything feminine about myself. Here’s how embracing my feminine side and subverting gender ideas on social media helped.

Schedule Your Free 15 min. Why are there so many hair stylists who are gay? Why are our homes so often featured in interior design magazines? What I love about the book are the first several chapters where he validates, with hard-hitting language, the challenges of growing up as a gay boy in a straight family. You will feel seen and heard in these chapters. And reading your feelings described on the written page is healing.

Essentially The Velvet Rage is a book about shame. Shame is universal. And with our shame comes the problems of self-sabotage, avoidance of risk, or the exhausting efforts of overcompensation or seeking validation. No book is perfect, and the middle chapters of The Velvet Rage may not resonate with everyone.

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In these chapters, without actually admitting it, Downs is focused on what happens when the shame of being gay merges with someone who has a tendency towards narcissism. He writes about his clients and friends who are wealthy gay men living in Beverly Hills. He ignores what happens when our shame leads to other common traits that I see in my psychotherapy practice, such as codependency.

The book ends with smart tips about how to overcome shame by moving towards greater authenticity and empowerment. Check it out. I hear straight men quietly complain about it.

At its core, gay male homophobia is caused by a fear of the feminine. Schedule a minute free call to discuss if the Gay Therapy Center has the right therapist for you. Schedule Free 15 Min. Ready to start feeling better about yourself? Life gets easier when we have more confidence. Gay Men and Femininity: The Horror. Adam Blum. GTC Newsletter Get notified of new posts, video blogs, and more! Why are we often the tastemakers of the fashion industry?

Thinking About Therapy? Notify of. I allow gaytherapycenter. Oldest Newest Most Voted. Inline Feedbacks. You May Also Like Free Online Class Ready to start feeling better about yourself?